blogs, life, mindfulness, poems, San Juan, Puerto Rico, self-esteem, writing

And so it goes…

Universe, if by any chance you are listening to my words and prayers, give me a sign (ha! If only)

So I’m supposed to study, work, study more and more, study for your masters, study for your doctorate, be a professor, never find love. 

Never find love.

That’s how I feel right about now. Like he will never love me. Like he doesn’t know I exist. Like I will never see him again.

Sorry to wax poetic but love is love and love is everything we have in this world. 

“love will keep us together” goes that song.

It’s a great song but I can’t trust this to be true.

I will never find love, I think to myself. 

And I know I’m just being dramatic but I don’t want all of the fish in the sea. I want one special, lovely fish that is taken. Does that make me a horrible person? I don’t steal people from people. I don’t want to. I’ll let them be. But there is a tiny part of me thinking, maybe, just maybe, something might go wrong. Maybe, just maybe, things will be different. But that is unrealistic thinking, of course. But hey, I’m not a very realistic person. 

And so it goes that I am alone, and so it goes that I will never find love, and so it goes that I will write. 

“Love will keep us together”

But only in my dreams. 


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