A Prayer

The greatest pain that I have ever known is loving someone and that someone not loving me back. I feel trapped by the memory of his spirit, his being, his essence. Sometimes, the pain is too much and I don’t know what to do with myself. Other times, it is bearable. It has been a year since I’ve last seen this (stranger) and yet I feel so close to him because he exists in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that he is happy, that is healthy, and that-selfishly-he thinks of me at least in the slightest. At this point, I know there is no future with him. That hurts. It burns. It feels like a stab in the heart. Seven years ago I fell in love. A few months ago I proclaimed my love. Today I ache and I cry because I feel trapped. Sometimes I wish I could erase the memory of him. But no. It is too sweet to remember his voice, his character, his smile and his laugh, it is too sweet to remember him. So I will write and write and pray and pray because that is all I can do. I wish him the best. And if he is in love (then I hope that it is true). 

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