blogs, life, mindfulness, San Juan, Puerto Rico, self-esteem, writing

Update: On Being Diagnosed

Recently I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I came to the conclusion that I have to accept the fact that I’m not normal. I’m different. I have a disability that is masked by the appearance of being an average person, but those close to me know what I’ve been the through. They saw me at my worst, when I was hospitalized for psychosis. They’ve also seen the great progress I’ve made since then. Following my hospitalization I was absent from university for a semester. I was on meds throughout that semester and continued to write through my recovery process. That summer, the summer of 2016, I stopped taking medication suddenly. I returned to school in August and finished my semester intact. The only thing (and serious at that) that happened was that I almost had another psychosis (I felt it coming) because I had been without meds for months. The moral of this story is, if you’re diagnosed with bipolar disorder or another mental illness and you think it’s ok to stop taking your meds without consulting a doctor, think again. I started taking my meds after I regressed and I’ve been on them for about three months. I have to say that I feel good. I feel healthy. And I owe that to medicine. There is a stigma surrounding mental health issue that we need to eliminate. I share this because I want others to know that we don’t have to feel sick–we can feel good–we just have to be open to help and getting treatment.
Today I feel like myself. I don’t feel manic or depressed–I feel stable.

I’m not sure what it’s going to be like tomorrow, or near week for that matter but I know that as long as I take care of myself, there is a good chance that everything is going to be alright. 


3 thoughts on “Update: On Being Diagnosed”

  1. While I don’t have bipolar disorder, I do have sociopathic tendencies and have almost crippling social anxiety and, often, depression (the three go hand-in-hand), so I know what it’s like to deal with mental disorders. It’s infuriating that many view mental health as a joke, even in this age with advanced medicine and knowledge!

    The hardest thing to overcome is the overwhelming feeling of weakness and defeat that comes from the illness itself as well as society’s ridicule of the illness. But once we get past that, I believe we can finally see the problem and help resolve it. It beats us down, but it’s important that we keep standing up.

    I love the way you ended this post on hope. When it all boils down, sometimes the only thing left we can do is simply hope. And hope is a powerful thing.

    Thank you so much for sharing. 💕


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